Rinseguard Family

Little Cissy Rinseguard rose to prominence after the publication of her book I Go Heaven! (as told to her mother, Lydia Rinseguard), an exemplar of the "heaven tourism" genre (along the lines of Heaven Is For Real and The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven) recounting her experience in heaven after her accidental death. In this first recounting of her visit to heaven, she talks to God about the Lego Movie and sees the Devil, who is a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and tutu. The week after the Glory Shelf first sponsored the podcast to advertise the publication of I Go Heaven!, it was reported that Little Cissy Rinseguard had died yet again as the result of a peanut allergy reaction while in the custody of her father, David "Ox" Rinseguard, but came back to life once more to publish Back 2 Heaven, as told to her father. In this recounting, Little Cissy Rinseguard meets musician and actor Jerry Reed, who insists that her father is an okay person despite leaving peanuts around her. She died a third time while in custody of her mother, with whom she would go on to publish Back 3 Heaven. In the third book, Little Cissy sees a hole in the clouds through which everyone can view hell, specifically the part of hell where "daddies who cheat on mommies" are being tortured. Around the time of the publication of I Go Heaven!, Lydia Rinseguard also published a book on Christian speed dating. She and her husband, who had separated shortly before the publication of Little Cissy's first book, reunited and co-authored a Christian sex manual, Back 2 Lovin': A Christian Guide to Back-Togetherness. They also sent Little Cissy off to a special academy for heaven returnee children, followed by another on Christian threesomes. At last report, Little Cissy had been speaking in tongues and aging abnormally, now looking about forty years old.